“This week’s session couldn’t have been more timely if it had tried! I logged in to Zoom with my head full and overactive from processing something that had happened at the weekend. So what better subject to delve into but ‘Thoughts and Feelings’?! Throughout the teaching, I was able to apply what was being discussed to my own context and was able to relate the theory to my thoughts and feelings around the situation I was reflecting on. Immediately, therefore, the session felt relevant and valuable to me!

As a warm-up exercise, we did a bit of a true/false poll; it helped to clarify that some things that we consider to be our truths are not true truths, but are in fact opinions. This brought us back to an overarching theme of the course – facts are our friends – because it is by knowing facts that we can make healthy choices.

There were some brilliant nuggets that we explored:

• Before you say something to yourself, consider if you’d say it to a friend. We are often harsher on ourselves than others.
• Beware of the comparison trap: we end up comparing our worst bits to others’ best bits, which doesn’t allow for us all to be different.
• It is better to compare ourselves to our past self, and to consider how we can get to where we want our future self to be!
• Negative thoughts are like a helter-skelter- it’s too easy to follow them and just spiral down with them so we need to try to change the thoughts early.

We had a look through different types of unhealthy thinking styles and were given time and space to consider which we might tend to revert to. The group was fairly small this week, so it was good to share the styles we recognise in ourselves in the group discussion, and it highlighted that we are all different!

I had explored some of the content before in my own previous learning, but this session certainly provided language and weight to what I’ve known to be true in my own life. That said, we covered a couple of things that were totally new to me.

One was an exercise that we were shown called a ‘5 Minute Worry Time Worksheet’; I imagine this could be really helpful if you have a tendency to spiral when it comes to worrying.

The other was considering the things that impact our feelings. 60% of our feelings are affected by things that are largely outside of our control (50% genetics, 10% circumstance), but 40% are impacted by our own choices (including habits, thoughts and the way we think), which are under our direct control. I hadn’t heard this before, and it shows the value in really working on the things we can change, whilst accepting the things we cannot change.

For me, the session was summed up perfectly in the Serenity Prayer: ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’ Amen!”